Enrichment Night Supplements: Preserving Family Meals

In preparing for our 1Q09 enrichment activity, we looked for resources to help us preserve the family dinner hour. In the book, The Surprising Power of Family Meals, Miriam Weinstein presents the benefits and states the following:

Families Who Eat Supper Together -

• Discourage smoking, drug use and teen pregnancy
• Position their children to do better in school
• Pass on their ethnic, familial and religious heritage
• Help prevent eating disorders and obesity
• Build on their kids' literacy, vocabulary and conversational skills
• Teach their children manners
• Promote a sense of resilience that will last a lifetime
• Enjoy each other more as a family

She provides the following advice - taken from this website: http://poweroffamilymeals.com/MealtimeIdeas/

Getting Your Family to the Table

• Set aside a time each day for a family meal. Mark it on your calendar. Let the family know that this is an important commitment.
• Have a table for them to come to. Provide a space that is cleared of homework, bills, projects, etc. etc. Make sure there are enough chairs for everyone in the household. Eat facing each other.
• Say no to distractions. Turn off the TV. Don’t answer the phone. Declare this time interruption-free.
• Say yes to each other. Make this a time for family. Let your family know that they are expected to show up, and that they are expected to eat together.
• Set the tone. Take pleasure in each other’s company. Give everyone a chance to talk, and then listen respectfully.
• Keep it light, keep it fun. Save the lectures for another time.
• Make the food yummy and nutritious. Offer tasty dishes, and let people choose how much and whether they will eat. Remember that it can take many tries before someone enjoys a new food. Don’t be too quick to prepare individual dishes; that only encourages saying no to the main meal.

Enjoyment is Goal One

• Eating is one of life’s most available pleasures. It is even more satisfying when it is shared. How clever then, to link food with families! How smart to have our get-togethers something we can count on day in and day out.
• Families are people who nourish each other, spend time together, care about each other, travel together through time. We need to eat several times a day. Linking that need with being together is a simple, direct way to strengthen our ties with our loved ones.
• No fancy dishes are required, just a welcoming attitude, a willingness to talk and listen with respect, and something yummy to eat.
• Family life is rarely perfect, but some things can be pretty darn good. Sharing conversation and food with those we care about can be one of life’s continuing joys.

Mealtime Conversation Tips

Here are some tips to keep mealtime conversations fun and the communication flowing:

• Keep the talk age-appropriate. Or, if you’re discussing something above your children’s heads, give them a sense of what it’s about.
• Listen respectfully. Make sure everyone has a chance to speak. Some families have a special object they hand around to show whose turn it is.
• Keep questions open-ended. Be encouraging, not judgmental. Still, for some kids, what did you do today is just too broad. For them, the term is scaffolding: offer a structure so they can build an answer. (Who did you play with at recess? What was a funny thing that happened? Did you get caught in that rainstorm?) Ask them about their friends, their activities, their interests.
• Give little kids a break if they need it. Let them help clear between courses (carrying something unbreakable) or ask them to bring something from the kitchen that you “forgot.” Then, after they finish their job, thank them and let them know it’s time to sit down again.
• Try simple games like Boiler Burst. One person starts a story. Then, when he’s had enough, or after a set time limit, he says, “And then the boiler burst,” and the next person continues the tale. Older kids like to discuss hypotheticals: take a story from the news and ask “what would you do”?
• Set expectations. For example, We all stay at the table until everyone’s finished. Then people are more likely to sit and talk.